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Independent escort london

Sadie O'Shea  • Aug 17, 2021 • 3 min read

updates from the last year or so...

I’ve written several blog posts this year, all of them very quickly became very heavy, and after a few rereads, I decided I didn’t feel comfortable sharing them online. However, it would feel disingenuous to gloss over what a difficult year 2020 was. I work in social care, in services already been cut to the bone, in one of the most deprived boroughs in London. To say it has been testing would be an understatement, and it has left me with little energy for anything else.

I have been struggling massively with the cognitive dissonance of working in an incredibly superficial industry, alongside one so very much grounded in reality, so had to step back, and pretty much completely ceased posting online. After having this unintentional internet break, I realised how much regular participation in social media marketing caused me to view daily experiences through a kind of “advertising potential” lens. I miss the days when all I had to do was pay (albeit considerably) for ads, and have a photoshoot once every couple of years. Despite the fact being non-independent isn't an option for me (I'm too much of a control freak to even get a booking assistant), as the amount of time required to operate successfully as an independent escort continues to grow and grow, I do understand the appeal. Putting so much of yourself online, and having seperate digital identities makes me feel very uneasy, and the care and consideration needed to plan and operate an optimal security/privacy protocol is immense.

In the past I have used this blog sort of like a diary, and didn’t really pay much mind to what I posted. However, I feel much more aware of people reading now, and want what I post to be more considered in the future. I’m not a writer, I generally struggle to write anything at all, and it has to be taken from my reality. However this gives me cause for concern, as writing candidly online about this industry feels fraught with possible pitfalls. Privacy is the obvious one, but also, I can only speak from my experience, and this is an incredibly complex industry. I would hate to paint the picture that my experience is universal, and it becomes very difficult to encapsulate the necessary nuance to avoid reducing complex issues in order to fit them into an accessible, client friendly blog posts.

I also want to avoid pushing out tired tropes about VIP, Elite & High Class escorting (although it can’t be avoided entirely as is pretty much required for seo purposes) as I find it rather elitist and grounded in snobbery, shame, and a disdain for sex work. I am constantly re-evaluating how to continue working in the most emotional healthy way possible, and I’ve found that honesty and respect for my job is vital for any real intimacy to occur. Ironically, clients who constantly try to avoid acknowledging that I am a sex worker, as they fear it could make the experience feel clinical and inauthentic, are precisely who I feel clinical and inauthentic around. I can’t relax around them, and the whole thing starts to feel messy, unclear and dishonest. I think it is a real shame to suspend your disbelief any further than the confines of the booking, as it means missing out on a rare chance at a real, honest connection. Terms like “companion” “donation” “suitors” “dates” do have validity in areas where sex work is criminalised, but that isn’t the case here (yet) and although I have used them in the past, when I gave it some thought, it didn’t sit right with me to try and distance myself from sex work. It implies that it is something shameful, and I do not believe that, and it is important to me that you believe that too. We live in a culture where shame and sex are almost inextricably linked, so it is important that we should give this some reflection. Also, regardless of the rates charged or verbiage used, exploitation and badly behaved clients exist at all levels of this industry. What is important is the ability to conduct ourselves with emotional maturity and respect for each other, and part of that means communicating in an authentic way, which may not always be what you want to hear! It is not good to be constantly validated, and can allow bad habits to fester and grow.

I really believe that this work has the potential to be transformative, and help us better understand ourselves and how we connect with other people. I enjoy practicing my communication, interpersonal and boundary setting skills with clients, it has taught me so much about identifying what I feel comfortable with, what I need from people, and how to ask for it in a direct, yet respectful manner. I think it’s a really valuable opportunity to practice navigating the very tricky and complex waters of sexual and emotional intimacy in such an open, honest way, without the pressures and responsibilities of a “traditional” relationship dynamic.

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