Before We Meet: The part you don’t see.

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There is a particular feeling that comes just before I meet someone. A sort of shift within. Not nerves exactly, more like focus. The thrill of knowing something private is about to begin, a secret tucked inside the evening.

With new clients there is a little more to consider. If it is dinner and the choice is mine, I will book somewhere that feels right, not just for the food but for the mood. Ambience matters. I want us to be able to hear each other, not shout over clattering cutlery. If the restaurant is lively, I might suggest a drink nearby first. It creates a moment to land, so nothing feels hurried. With someone familiar, the mood if different. Less intense, lighter, as the rhythm is already waiting for us. Most of my longstanding clients live overseas, so those reunions feel like seeing an old fling, with a spark that keeps it deliciously charged.

I sometimes like shorter encounters, but I love and prefer longer dates. A dinner that drifts into the night, with time for conversation, atmosphere, and ever building anticipation. These are my favourites. I don’t often accept two-hour bookings, but when I do, I will suggest a drink first; it gives us space to ease in, to make things feel human rather than mechanical. A little social time is important to me. It is not about formality but about letting us see each other clearly before anything else develops.

How I prepare depends on what we have planned. Coffee dates ask for one thing, overnights another. Multi-day trips are delightful, but only ever happen when there is already resonance, and when they manage to fit around my personal life, as I’m careful not to overbook myself. I would rather arrive present than depleted. That said, I love when there is space to stretch into things. Time to wake up together, to talk into the night, enjoy days of glorious freedom. If your life moves fast, then I want ours to feel like a pause, not another demand.

Getting ready becomes its own ritual. A long shower to rinse away the day. Shea butter on warm skin. My favourite perfume, lately Diptyque’s Orphéon, it’s musky and warm, though I can always go without if that is your preference. My hair is long and thick, and it resists taming, so I let it fall as it likes, adding a little oil so it carries a soft trace of scent.

Lingerie depends on mood. If you have hinted at preferences, I will follow them; if not, I trust instinct. Bordelle when I want to feel taut and assured. Tatu Couture for romantic evenings. Maison Close when I am paired down and playful. Sometimes I forgo lingerie under my dress, especially in summer, but I will always bring a favourite set, tucked away for later. Clothes are chosen for how they feel as much as how they look. Silk that skims, soft knits that feel like a caress, tailoring that fits me perfectly. I want to be comfortable, striking, tactile. I want to dress the way I would dress for a date I am genuinely excited about, because ideally, I am.

I think about what it is you said you wanted, do I need toys? Which kind? Do I need oils, blindfolds, even rope? I of course pack protection, in various sizes, latex free is you have allergies. Different lubes, waterm oil, silicon based, The all have their benefits and uses. I make sure it is packed away in a discreet shopping bag, no one any wiser to the excting things inside. Discretion is a given, I livve privately and assume you calue it too. I also bring a speaker, msic is vital to the mood, and I have prepared playlists to suit nearly every occasion.

Before we meet, I will confirm time and place, and tell you what I will be wearing. I will ask how you are feeling too, not as a formality but because it tells me how to best to approach those first moments. If I am a little unsure myself, I will say so. Usually that honesty is mirrored back, and it melts away nerves far better than pretending your unphased.

This work, for me, is not about staging a show. It is about presence. Letting someone in. It is not about impressing you with a performance of who I think you want me to be. I would rather you meet me as I am, relaxed, attentive, grounded. And if you bring your best self too, that is when things become interesting.

Whether brief or lingering, I want our time to feel natural. Not transactional, but memorable in a quiet, lasting way. I prepare so that when I arrive, I am present, comfortable, and open. The best moments are when it stops feeling like a booking and starts to feel like a proper encounter between two people. That is the time I love most.